Thursday, December 5, 2013

How I Sign Mi Name

Let's see if you 'ahndastan' what the poem is about...

HOW I SIGN MI NAME
By
James A. C. Elliot (1877-1961)

I’m a dashing young cutter, bote han’sum an’ strang,
     Wid no wan but myself fo suppote;
I de work inna bush now fo’ seben aers lang,
In de wildest ov t’icket remote,
Dough hardships I meet,
Dem hardships I greet,
Wit’ de mighty good-will ov a man;
For I fine in dis wo’l’ dat in spite of al’ wrang
We mus’ mek  life as bright as we kean.

Woodcutters, British Honduras (1930)

At de fus ov de aere inna Jan’werry mont’,
Just de time w’en de nort’ win’ de blow,
To de affice I gane wid me fren’ Janny Hunt,
Fe agree fo’ mi seben an’ fou’;
De smart affice man
Put pen inna mi han’,
An’ ‘e tell me fe write dong mi name;
Ses I, “Sah, I kean’t write-neber try an’ I  won’t;
You kean write it fo’ mi al’ de same.”

From me head to me foot de smart affice-man look;
An’ ‘e dress’ me like dis inna dix;
“Such a smart looking fellow can’t write in a book;
I believe you are playing some tricks.
No nonsense, young man,
Sign here, for you can,
And don’t stand there and look like a goat.”
Well, I den feel so shame dat de lang pen I took,
an'sa’, “Kose I kenn write,” an’ I wrote:

De affice-man look up ‘pan me wit’ supprise,
an’ ‘e smile w’en I geam back de pen:
“I mussy do,” tart I, “something cleber an’ wise.”
But ‘e bus’ out  a-lafing just den.
‘E hole ‘e two side,
An’ open quite wide
‘E wan mout’, an’ den ha! ha! away,
Up I stan’ dare an’ wander an’ open mi eyes,
Fo’ ‘e laf lakka jackass de bray.

W’en e’ stap ‘e hard laffing ‘e look inna mi face,
An’ ‘e tell me fe’ spellout mi name.
On de paper I look’, an’ I look’ inna space,
An’ I wander dah huddah fe’ blame,

As I neber quick answer de dixy leel man,
‘E delib’rately cal’ me a fool;
I den feel jus’ to geam de full wate ov mi han’;
But I ‘deavoured to keep myself cool;
Fo’ if I get hat,
Weddah rite ar not,
I would floor ‘im wid wan single lick.
An’ w’en adders cum in fe help, soon as dey lan’
I would sen’ dem right back wit’ a kick.

But I keep myself cool, an’ de affice-man said:
“What is this you have put in this book?
This mark looks like an ape or some other beast’s head
And the other mark looks like a hook.
Now, sir, look and see,
And quick answer me.
What the deuce were you trying to make?
Now if I were like you I would rather be dead
Than to make such a horrid mistake.”

Well, fo’ peace sake I swallah dat hebby abuse,
Fo’ I ‘tart to explain was de bes’.
I mek ans’er to ‘im de dix langwije I use’,
But now, sah, let me tell you befo’ dis ole des’,
Dot oy don’t know de XXX writing rule.

“Dot oy tole you befoh, still you fose me fe write,
An’ oy nebah lorn any in school;
But to ‘blige you I wrote, on’ you lof at de sight,
So oy tink you de bigger ole fole!”
I tell ‘im jus’ so,
An’ ‘e neber blown!
But ‘e stan’ dare an’ look inna mi face.
So I tell Janny Hunt fe comgo befo’ fight;
An’ we tu’n’ roun’ an’ lef de ole place.

I suppose dat some’ pepple t’ink cutter dah fool;
But de cutter no fool, dat I know.
Ebery man dah wan man inna ‘e place, dat’s the rule,
An’ de labah fe mek de wol’ go.
Den laf at no man,
But help al’ you kean,
Fo’ please membah we all gwine wan way.
Eberyt’ing in dis wo’l hab an’ en’, an’ de soul
Mus’ fly out ov de body wan day.



Monday, September 23, 2013

The Best

My great grandpa was a poet.  A very good one.  No...not good. Great.  Maybe "great" isn't the word either. Exceptional, inspired? Maybe there are no words.  He wrote funny things and inspiring things....This poem is sort of a family motto.

On days like these when I'm overwhelmed by the seemingly never-ending mass of ignorance around me, these words come to mind.  So I wipe my tears, get off the server room floor, strap on a pair and get back to work.  Because my passing "failures" and the passing failures of others don't beat me down...they do the opposite.  And I know in the deepest part of my being that I have done my absolute best.  I've done my part ...let the Lord come in and do His.

Thank you, Great Grandpa James. We never knew each other, but your words of wisdom, encouragement and  humor  have been instrumental in the lives of your descendants.  We quote you all the time :)

Another time I'll share How I Sign Mi Name just because it's great. :)  But first 'ahem' I give you The Best. Always.


Rev. James A.C. Elliot
1877-1961
The Best 
Rev. J.A.C. Elliot

If all you have done
Is all you could - The Best;
Then be content
And leave to God the rest.

Things fluctuate,
Neither joy nor sorrow stays.
Oft changing scenes
And changing moods amaze.

But he who knows
That in all things there is good;
That passing failures
Are but strengthening food.

Will climb the hill
Though his defeats confess;
And push his way through all
To sweet success.

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Rags to Rugs!

It's been a while!  Too many metaphorical hats catch up with you eventually.  But anyway...today I'll talk about rugs.

I'm a sentimental kind of a person.  So is Husband.  People like us end up with a lot of junk that serve no purpose except for having a lot of sentimental value.  Old text books, broken jewelry, clothes...yes, clothes.  Husband is very attached to the clothes I wore when we were dating.

"Those are how I got to know you". He sighs.

I have a couple sheets my grandmother brought for me from the states many years ago.  These sheets came into my marriage as the only bed sheets we had.  They served me well for a long time.  But since nothing lasts forever, I ended up having my two favorite fitted sheets all worn out with large, gaping holes in the center of them.

I don't want to throw them away.  They've been mine since I was 15!

So I don't throw them out....they're all in a separate drawer:  The "Rags Drawer" aka
"The Kodda Schüflod".  But I could never bring myself to use these clothes as rags.  Wipe up Fritz's drool with my use-to-be-nice-and-comfy shirt?  NOOO!  Ugh. What am I supposed to do with these things?  They keep piling up and I don't want to use them like that!

Solution!

Re-purpose and go from RAGS, not to riches, but to RUGS!  I started and couldn't stop.  Two rugs are built from a bunch of old t-shirts (mine and his woven together into a beautiful metaphor of love); the other is made from one of the fitted sheets I couldn't bring myself to let go of.

Rug making is a normal thing in Mennoniteville.  It's actually a very addictive craft.  The white rug started one evening after work.  I started tearing my sheet to long strips and stringing them together.  I began rugifying right after that... late into the night.  The next morning, I woke up and did some more rounds before work.  I would've taken it to work but unfortunately, rug making isn't in my job description.

So now, we don't have to mourn the loss of our clothes and sheets.  We don't have to watch them sap up Fluffy's spilled milk or Fritz's doggy slobber.  We get to wipe our feet with them when we come out of the shower or before we go to bed.   These old rags may just serve us well for a few more years.  We'll see.


P.S.  The Keyboard shortcut for the ü is alt+129.  Nerdy, I know.   Another nerdy fact....if we would all spread some alt+3  the world would be a better place. ;)


P.P.S.  Fluffy had a bath today.  As tame as he is, he still doesn't like water.  But his Gary was here torturing...I mean playing with his best pal.







Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Car Trouble, Ma'am?


Fel gets in car.

Fel turns on car.

Fel puts car in reverse.

Fel presses a button.

Car doesn't move.

Fel is confused.

Fel looks down and sees she's pressing a button.

Fel looks back and presses the button.

Car still doesn't move.

Hmmmmm.

Fel thinks.

.........*cricket sounds* .......

Fel looks down again only she turns a little more to the left.....

Fel was pressing the stop button the whole time!

Fel moves foot over to the go button.

Car moves.

Whew!

Saturday, July 20, 2013

The Banquet Cake


My littlest sister-in-law turned fifteen early July and asked me to decorate her cake.  I've decorated cakes before...with droopy icing.   I've seen my mom decorate cakes 'professionally' but I've never decorated a cake for an event before.  For sure not a formal banquet/party.  Yikes!  But when a fifteen-year-old cutie has faith in you, what are you to do?

The answer is simple.  When you are ever in the slightest of pickles, deep inside the bellows of holy-smokes-I-don't-know-how-to-do-this; there are three things that can save you: Jesus, Google and Youtube!

Now, I do have some experience watching cakes being decorated.  My mom does amazing artwork with cakes.  That's how I knew that I wanted to use fondant. The problem was that I had no clue how to make it, how to use it or what all I can do with it....but that's some of the fun.

So, I Googled the recipe, and Youtubed the hows and Voila!  We have decorated cake.

No, it wasn't that easy.  I still had to mix the icing sugar with melted marshmallows the night before but that didn't take as long as I thought it would.  But when I was kneading the fondant, I noticed that it kinda smelled a lot like Plasticine.  That doesn't say much for what marshmallows are made of.



The cake didn't quite turn out like the masterpiece I had imagined but I'd say it was a success.  As hard as I tried, I couldn't get the fondant to turn red and had to settle with a hot pink. All in all, when the day was done, the Quinceañera was happy and the guests had cake.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Sketch to an Island and Visit Your Arl

I'm the kind of person who probably wouldn't make any money if I had my own business.   I'm very much like my dad in that way.  We would rather come out short handed on our side than have the other person end up with any sort of loss.  Trade is usually what we opt for in situations where the other person would compensate us for something.   Some people see that as not wise, but some of the trades I've done in my former life have left me with very memorable experiences. :)

This post is about one of those experiences.

When my best friend finished school, she got the most awesome job managing the park at Half Moon Caye.  She'd be on a secluded island for fifteen days at a time chilling with the Sea Turtles, Iguanas, Boobies (the bird, you sicko) and random people who came to pay their fees for snorkeling at the Great Blue Hole.  Oh boy, did I envy her! 
As it turned out, her boss needed a sign made that would inform people to NOT feed the sharks.  Apparently, people don't obey rules unless they're in the form of a sign.  As the Belizean system of "I know somebody weh know somebody weh could draw" would have things, my friend was my ticket to the job. So I had fun with it!



I made a sketch and sent it in.  They loved it!  The compensation? Well, how was I supposed to make a price for something that took 20 minutes?  I had no idea.....so I said: "I want a trip to Halfmoon Caye".   And just like that, my wish was granted.  Two weeks later, I was on a boat to Half Moon Caye to see my bestest friend at her office by the sea!

We  laughed and talked while I watched her work.  I swam in the Great Blue Hole and returned to explore the Island with my favorite Arl.  We frolicked through the forest reserve among the Iguanas and birds.  I saw where she slept and learned where to find the water tank from where they hauled water to use around the house.

Leaving was hard but I had to go.   I had to give up my friend for a few more days before she can come back to the mainland with us land-folk.

I cherish the memories of that trip dearly.  Really, it's almost not fair that a quick sketch bought me a priceless experience with a very special person.  Money could never buy that.  Ok, so maybe it could....but on a student budget, let's just say it wouldn't be very easy to do.

As for Arl, she's still my bestie.  She's a scientist, wife and mother of a literally-very-bouncy little girl.  I've learned a lot from her about relationships, growing beans in jars and pre/post nuptual molting in birds; among other things.  She's a fireball of wonderful that I'm so grateful to call my friend.  I love you, Arl!

So, you might be wondering where can you find your own, Arl.  I don't know....but this one is mine! Get your own scientist best friend!





Friday, June 28, 2013

Pretty Fingers and Toes!

 My nails are currently not lacquered, but the lovely Kenia and my favourite Nurse Anna have prettier fingers  (June 6th) and toes (June 27th) than I do.  The shoemaker probably has no shoes..... the programmer has the lamest computer..... and the nail artist goes around with nails unpainted.  Worry not! I make up for it by not always cleaning up around the edges of their nails.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Lady with no Baby but a Husband, a Dog and a Kitten

Anna was driving me to the hospital with baby Christopher Angel in my arms looking up at me with the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. Big. Brown. I melt. He smelled so beautiful, he was perfect...he giggled and said "Mamah". Apparently I needed urgent medical attention.  Anna was driving like a maniac....cutting through parks and driving up steps - yes, steps!  But I was ok.  The world was chaos around me, overtaking cars and fast traffic in a big city.  Rush, rush, rush, Emergency! But I had the most beautiful baby in my arms smiling up at me and he was mine.... all mine......until I woke up.

 It was all a dream.  There is no Christopher Angel.  There was no emergency.  Anna wasn't driving like a maniac.  Here I am. Just me.  A lady with no baby lying next to my husband at 6:00 in the morning.  "There is no baby." I thought to myself.  "No baby.  Husband, dog, but no baby". 

My oh my! This lady has a baby on the brain. For the time being, a kitten must suffice. That being said, the sweet melody of one of my favourite comedy characters come to mind:

Soft kitty.
Warm kitty.
Little ball of fur.
Happy kitty.
Sleepy kitty.
Purr, purr, purr.


Fritz the Dog

Fritz was a puppy but now he's a dog.
Bouncy and happy and chews on large logs.
He chews on steel rods and on leaves and on pens.
He's scared of the Rooster and the barbed wire fence.

Fritz is a dog who thinks he's a boy.
A boy with four legs and the strangest of toys.
He naps on his back with his legs air
And sits in the grass with a Regal-like flare.

In the morning he waits for his Martin to rise.
If his Martin is late, he howls and he cries.
He swims in the river and plays with much mirth.
He swims with his Martin, his dearest on Earth.

His least favorite thing, he must do most everyday:
Watch his Martin leave for work when he wants to play.
But Martin comes back and even just for a while
He throws Fritz a stick and he runs with a smile.

Fritz loves to chase squirrels to the top of the trees.
Running and jumping all day in the breeze.
He loves to chase cows even though he should not.
But his Martin says "Nay" and then he just stops.

And at night when it's dark and his Martin's asleep,
He sleeps on the porch and he dreams up a heap.
He dreams of his Martin, the river and sticks
The mechanics of doing a front aerial flip.

Fritz was a puppy but now he's a dog.
He doesn't quite know it but he's the best dog of all.

I wanna write story books when I grow up!

It all started out of pure fun.   I was sitting in my little sister-in-law's room teasing her about being an oop (monkey)......so I folded some paper together, borrowed her pencil crayons and drew up a quick book with all the Low German words I knew.  The rest is history.  So now, in an effort to keep my sanity, I've decided to embark on a brand new hobby: writing, illustrating, arranging and constructing my own hard cover story books.

With the stories and concepts I've made so far out of fun, I've started my first real book-in-progress as a gift for my two-year-old niece.  How many kids can say "I have a story book about me"?

Here's a list of concepts I have lined up and the progress I've made on them.  I've separated them into series.

Teach Your Child Plattdeutch Series
A series of books with simple sentences that use Low German words to get your child started on learning a new language.

       1.  Kenia the Oop

    • Kenia is a monkey who eats bananas, sleeps and grows.  The sentences are simple and contain one Low German word with an illustration for the word.
    • Inspired by my little sister Kenia....the real Oop. 
    • Complete but needs to be edited (German phonetics) and digitized.
    • Images need enhancement.
      2.  Wasani and the Hose
    • Wasani is a little boy who goes on an adventure on his Grandpa's farm and befriends a rabbit (hose).
    • Inspired by my nephew Mandel (mostly known as Wasani)
    • Cover concept completed.
    • Needs to be digitized.
    • Storyline needs completion
The Best Dog of All: Fritz Series
A series of books inspired by my dog, Fritz.

        1.  A Puppy Named Fritzy

    • Fritzy is my puppy and best friend during the first 9 months of being married.  I stayed at home without kids so Fritz was my baby during that time.  It's a story of appreciation for a loyal friend.
    • Story complete.
    • Illustrations left.
       2.  Fritz the Dog

    • Fitz is much older and spends a lot of time with his Martin.  This was written after waking up to our dear friend having a seizure on the porch.  It was a scary night for our little family....we thought we would lose him.
    • Story complete
    • Illustrations left.


Other Children's Books

  1. The Mootz that Scootz
    • Mootz is a baby girl with big blue eyes and very little hair.  She turned one with no teeth and hadn't learned how to walk - but she scooted everywhere.....fast!
    • Inspired by my niece Ariella - the real Mootz.
    • Story & Illustrations complete.
    • Digitized.
    • Printing and Hardcover binding left for completion.

Upcoming concepts are stories/series that may include:
  • The Adventures of Nurse Anna.
  • Sweet Princess Gyal 
As I progress with each project I'll be posting updates on them.   I'd like to think of it as a way to keep myself motivated to finish them all.   I just hope I can keep this up and write stories about my own kids when they come around....... until then, I've got all of the above to keep me busy.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Minty Eyeballs

Yeah. You read it.  I said it. Minty Eyeballs. Are you curious yet?

If you've ever had that feeling of ugh....I want to know what minty eyeballs feel like; then you've come to the right place to find out how. I must admit that I stumbled upon this completely at random and felt like the world needed to know. So, here goes.

There are a couple things you'll need to create this exhilaratingly weird experience.

  1. Menthol Shampoo (We use Pert)
  2. Shower (preferably with hot water so you could have some steam - we'll talk about why later)
First, you do the usual showering stuff.  While you're in the shower, depending on how much head hair you have, apply the shampoo to your hair.  Following shampoo instructions, lather thoroughly. Now, here's the trick: while rinsing, make sure that the soapy shampoo water accidentally  runs down your face. While it's doing that, open one eye just a little bit - accidentally, ofcourse - and let a little stream of water run just pass the open eye. Don't do both eyes because you might experience some involuntary blindness with two minty eyeballs - NOT GOOD!
Anyway, now that you've exposed the eyeball to the menthol solution, close your eyes and rinse your face.  Now, try opening your eye.  Ahh! Minty Eyeball!

If you happen to have been using hot water, the steam in the bathroom will intensify the minty feeling of your eyeball.  The mintyness of your eyeball will last about five minutes depending on how much exposure you gave your eyeball to the Minty solution.

Hopefully, this has helped you figure out how to get your very own Minty Eyeball experience!

Sincerely,

Your Accidentally Minty-Eyeballed Friend, Fel.  *wink*